Pilot
Scene One
(2030年)
Narrator: Kids, I’m going to tell you an incredible story. The story of how I met your mother.
孩子们，我要给你们讲一个不可思议的故事。我怎样遇见你们妈妈的故事。
Son: Are we being punished for something?
我们做错什么了吗？
Narrator: No.
不是
Daughter: Yeah, is this going to take a while?
要讲很久吗？
Narrator: Yes. Twenty-five years ago, before I was Dad, I had this whole other life.
是的。25年前，我还没成为你们的老爸，我的生活和现在完全不同。
Narrator: It was way back in 2005. I was twenty-seven just starting to make it as an architect and living in New York with Marshall, my best friend from college.My life was good and then Uncle Marshall went and screwed（screw旋、拧、压榨，screw up弄糟、拧紧） the whole thing up.
时光回溯到2005年，我27岁，刚开始建筑师的生涯和我大学里最铁的哥们马修合住在纽约。生活一切顺利，可是马修叔叔把一切都毁了。
Marshall: Will you marry me?
你愿意嫁给我吗？
Ted: Yes, perfect! And then you’re engaged, you pop the champagne! You drink a toast（toast干杯、吐司、烘烤）! You have sex on the kitchen floor…Don’t have sex on our kitchen floor.
就是这样，太完美了。然后你们就订婚了，你们打开香槟，举杯庆祝。在厨房地板上嘿咻。。。不要在厨房地板上嘿咻好吗。
Marshall: Got it. Thanks for helping me plan this out, Ted.
记住了。谢谢你帮我出谋划策，泰德。
Ted: Dude, are you kidding? It’s you and Lily! I’ve been there for all the big moments of you and Lily. The night you met. Your first date… other first things.
兄弟，开什么玩笑？这可是你和莉莉。我见证了你和莉莉的所有重要时刻。你们初识那晚，你们第一次约会，还有其他第一次。
Marshall: Yeah, sorry. We thought you were asleep.
啊，不好意思啊，我们以为你睡着了。
Ted: It’s physics Marshall, if the bottom bunk moves, the top bunk moves too. My god, you’re getting engaged tonight.
物理常识，马修，如果下铺在晃，上铺也会跟着摇。天呐，你们今晚就要订婚了。
Marshall: Yeah, what are you doing tonight?
是啊，你今晚要干什么。
Narrator: What was I doing? Your Uncle Marshall was taking the biggest step of his life, and me–I’m calling your Uncle, Barney.
我在干嘛？那时你们马修叔叔跨出了人生中最重要的一步，我呢？我打电话找你们巴尼叔叔。
Barney: hey, so you know how I’ve always had a thing for half-Asian girls? Well, now I’ve got a new favorite: Lebanese girls! Lebanese girls are the new half-Asians.
嘿，你知道我一直对亚裔混血妞有兴趣吗？好吧，我现在有了新的最爱 黎巴嫩妞。黎巴嫩妞是新品种的亚裔混血。
Ted: Hey, you wanna do something tonnight?
嘿，你今晚想找点乐子吗？
Barney: Okay, meet me at the bar in fifteen minutes, and Suit up!
好，15分钟后酒吧见，穿上西装。
Scene Two
(The Bar)
Ted: Hey.
嘿
Barney: Where’s your suit!? Just once when I say suit up, I wish you’d put on a suit.
你西装呢？就听我一次，我叫你穿上西装，请穿上一套西装。
Ted: I did that one time.
我穿过一次。
Barney: It was a blazer（blazer 宽松运动外衣）!
那是一套运动装。
Ted: You knonw, ever since college it’s been Marshall and Lily and me. Now it’s going to be Marshall and Lily…and me. They’ll get married, start a family–before long（before long不久之后） I’m weird, middle-aged bachelor（bachelor单身汉）their kids call ”Uncle Ted”.
你知道，从大学开始就一直是马修和莉莉和我，现在变成马修和莉莉 以及我。他们要结婚了，组建一个家庭，过不了多久，我就成了孩子们口中的怪叔叔泰德。
Barney: I see what this is about. Have you forgotten what I said to you the night we met?
我懂了。你忘了我们初次见面那晚，我是怎么告诉你的吗。
Barney: Ted, I’m going to teach you how to live. Barney, we met at the urinal（urinal 小便池）.
泰德，我要教你怎样生活。巴尼，我们是在小便池认识的。
Ted: Oh,right.Hi.
哦，对，你好。
Barney: Lesson one, lose the goatee（山羊胡）.It doesn’t go with your suit.
第一课，踢掉山羊胡子。他不配你的西装。
Ted: I’m not wearing a suit.
我没穿西装。
Barney: Lessen two,get a suit. Suits are cool.Exhibit（exhibit 展览品） A. Lesson three, don’t even think about getting married till you’re…thirty.
第二课，穿上西装。西装很酷，活生生的例子。第三课，30岁前都不要想结婚的事。
Ted: Thirty,right.You’re right. I guess it’s just, your best friend gets engaged–you start thinking about that stuff.
30岁，对，你是对的。可能是因为我最好的朋友订婚了，我就开始胡思乱想了。
Barney: I thought I was your best friend. Ted, say I’m your best friend.
我还以为我是你最好的朋友，泰德，说，我是你最好的朋友。
Ted: You’re my best friend, Barney.
你是我最好的朋友，巴尼。
Barney: Good! And as your best friend, I suggest we play a little game called…”Have you met Ted?”
很好，那作为你最好的朋友，我建议我们来玩一个小游戏，我把它称为 你见过泰德吗？
Ted: No,no,no,no.We’re not playing ”Have you met Ted?”
不不不，我们不玩 你见过泰德吗
Barney: Hi, have you met Ted?
嗨，你见过泰德吗？
Ted: Hi, I’m Ted.
嗨，我是泰德
Yasmine: Yasmine.
雅思明
Ted: It’s a very pretty name.
真是个好名字。
Yasmine: Thanks, it’s Lebanese.
多谢，这是黎巴嫩语。
Scene Three
(The Apartment)
Marshall: Hey!
嘿！
Lily: Urgh. I’m exhausted. It was finger-painting day at school, and a five-year-old boy got to second base with me. Wow, you’re cooking?
我累惨了。今天在学校教涂鸦课，一个5岁的男孩上了我二垒。你在做饭吗？
Marshall: Yes, I am.
对啊
Lily: Aww–Are you sure that’s a good idea after last time? You looked really creepy（creepy吓人的） without eyebrows（eyebrows 眉毛）.
你确定你要做吗？上次你眉毛被烧掉的样子实在是挺可怕的。
Marshall: I can handle this,I think you’ll find I’m full of surprises tonight.
我能搞定的。今晚必定是一个惊喜之夜。
Lily: So there’s more surprises? Like what?
所以还有更多惊喜是吗，有什么？
Narrator: Marshall was in his second year of law school, so he was pretty good at thinking on his feet.
马修当时已经在法学院读了两年，快问快答是他的强项。
Marshall: BOOGITY BOO! And that’s all of them! I’m gonna go… cook.
嘭个哩嘭，这就是了。我去做饭了。
Ted: I’m so happy for Marshall, I really am. I just couldn’t imagine settling down right now.
我真心为马修感到高兴，真的。我只是没办法想象现在就定下来。
Yasmine: So do you’ll ever get married?
所以你觉得你会结婚吗？
Ted: Well maybe eventually. Some fall（fall 秋天） day. Possibly in Central Park. Simple ceremony, we’ll write our own vows（vow 发誓、誓言）. Band, no DJ, people will dance. I’m not gonna worry about it! Damn it, why did marshall have to get engaged? Yeah, nothing hotter（hot 过激的、过火的） than a guy planning out his own imaginary wedding, huh?
嗯，最后可能会吧。在一个秋天里，可能就在中央公园。举行一个简单的婚礼，我们许下彼此的诺言。请个乐队，不要DJ，让他们自己跳吧，我才不管他们。该死的，马修怎么就订婚了呢。没什么会比计划自己虚构的婚礼更蠢了吧？
Yasmine: Actually, I think it’s cute.
事实上，我觉得你很可爱。
Ted: Well, you’re clearly drunk. ONE MORE FOR THE LADY!
好吧，你肯定喝醉了。再给这位小姐来一杯酒。
Marshall: Okay, look what I got.
来吧，看看我准备了什么。
Lily: Aw–honey. Champagne!
哦，亲爱的，香槟！
Marshall: Yeah.
对啊。
Lily: No, you’re too old to be scared to open a bottle of champagne!
不行，你这个年纪不该再怕开香槟了。
Marshall: I’m not scared.
我才没怕。
Lily: Then open it!
那就开啊。
Marshall: Fine…Please open it.
好吧，拜托，还是你来开吧。
Lily: You are unbelievable, Marshall.
难以置信，马修。
Narrator: There are two big questions a man has to ask in life. One you plan out for months, the other just slips（slip 滑过） out when you’re half drunk at some bar.
人一生一定会问两个重要的问题。一个需要筹划数月，另一个只需你喝得半醉的时候脱口而出。
Marshall: Will you marry me?
你愿意嫁给我吗？
Ted: You wanna go out sometime?
想改天一起出去吗？
Lily: Of course, you idiot!
当然了，你这个笨蛋。
Yasmine: I’m sorry. Carl’s my boyfriend.
抱歉，卡尔是我男朋友。
Ted: What’s up, Carl?
你好啊，卡尔。
Marshall: I promised Ted we wouldn’t do that.
我跟泰德发誓说我们不会这么做的。
Lily: Did you know there’s a pop tart（tart 果馅饼） under your fridge?
你知道冰箱下面有块烤酥饼么？
Marshall: No, but dibs（dibs 优先权）. Where’s that champagne? I wanna drink a toast with my fiance.
不知道，不过归我了。香槟在哪呢，我想和我的未婚妻喝一杯。
Lily: Aww.
Marshall: I don’t know why I was so scared of this. It’s pretty easy right?
我怎么会怕这个呢？挺容易的嘛，对吧？
Lily: (YELLS)
Marshall: OH!
Ted: Why am I freaking（freak 反常的） out all of a sudden? This is crazy! I’m not ready to settle down.
我怎么突然就那么反常，我简直是疯了。我还没准备好安定下来呢。
Barney: How does Carl land a Lebanese girl?
卡尔是怎么泡到黎巴嫩女孩的？
Ted: It’s always been ”don’t even think about it till you’re thirty”
我的原则一直都是 30岁之前绝不考虑结婚。
Barney: Excatly–the guy doesn’t even own a suit!
没错 这家伙连套西装都没有！
Ted: Plus, Marshall’s found the love of his life. Even if I was ready, which I’m not, but if I was, it’s like, ”Okay, I’m ready! Where is she?”
再说，马修是已经找到他一生所爱。即使我准备好安定了，虽然实际上并没有，如果我真的准备好了，可她在哪里呢？
Narrator: And there she was.
然后她就出现了。
Scene Four
(The Bar)
Narrator: It was like something from an old movie. Where the sailor sees the girl across the dance floor, turns to his buddy and says:”see that girl? I’m going to marry her someday.”
就好像老电影中的情节，当水手穿过拥挤的舞池看到那个女孩，他转过身，对他的朋友说，看到那个女孩没，有一天她会成为我的新娘。
Ted: Hey Barney, see that gilr?
巴尼，你看到那姑娘没？
Barney: Oh, yeah. You just know she likes it dirty.Go say hi.
嗯，好一个风流的女人。去打个招呼。
Ted: I can’t just go say hi. I need a plan. I’m gonna wait until she goes to the bathroom, then I’ll strategically（strategically 战略性地） place myself by the jukebox（jukebox 自动唱机） so that…
我不能只是去打个招呼。我需要一个计划。我应该等到她去厕所的时候，正好站在点唱机旁，然后…
Barney: Hey, have you met Ted?
嗨，你见过泰德吗？
Ted: Hi.
Robin: Let me guess, Ted.
我猜，你就是泰德。
Scene Five
(Taxi on the way to hospital)
Marshall: I’m sorry, Lily. I’m so sorry. Take us to the hospital.
抱歉，莉莉。实在是太抱歉了。带我们去医院。
Cabdriver: Whoa, whoa, whoa. did you hit her?
喔，你打她了吗？
Lily: Hit me? Please, this guy could barely even spank（spank 打屁股） me in bed for fun. He’s all, like, ”Oh, honey, did that hurt?” and I’m like, ”Come on, let me have you, you pansy（pansy 女性化的）!” Wow, a complete stranger.
打我吗？得了吧，这家伙甚至不敢在滚床单时打我屁股。他就像这样，哦，亲爱的，打疼你了吗？我就像这样，来吧，让我占有你，娘娘腔。哇喔，他是个陌生人。
Cabdraver: no, no, no, no,–it’s okay, go on. So, these spankings, are you in pajamas（pajama 睡衣） or au natural（au natural 裸体的）?
不不不，没关系，继续。那你们打屁股时，你是穿着睡衣还是全裸？
Ted: So what do you do?
你是做什么的？
Robin: I’m a reporter for Metro（metro 大都市） News 1.
我是都市新闻一台的记者。
Ted: Oh.
Robin: Well, kind of a reporter. I do those dumb little fluff（fluff 无价值的东西、绒毛） pieces at the end of the news, you know, Like–um–monkey that can play ukulele（ukulele 尤克里里）. I’m hoping to get some bigger stories soon.
好吧，算是记者吧。我报道节目最后那些无聊的边角料新闻。比如，会弹尤克里里的猴子，但我希望尽快能报道一些更大的新闻。
Ted: Bigger like, uh, gorilla（gorilla 大猩猩） with an upright（upright 竖式） bass? Sorry, you’re really pretty. Oh, your friends don’t seem too happy.
更大的，比如，弹低音提琴的大猩猩？对不起，你真美。哦，你的朋友看上去不太高兴。
Robin: Yeah, see the one in the middle just got dumped（dump 抛弃） by her boyfriend so tonight every guy is… ”The enemy”.
是的，听着，坐在中间的那个刚刚被她的男朋友甩了，所以今晚每个男人都是敌人。
Ted: You know if you don’t make your friend fell better you could throw a drink at my face. I don’t mind.
你知道，如果能让你的朋友舒服点，你可以朝我脸上泼酒，我不介意。
Robin: She would love that! It does look fun in the movies.
她肯定喜欢，电影里这种桥段看起来很好玩。
Ted: Hey, you wanna have dinner with me Saturday night?
嘿，你愿意周六晚上和我一起吃晚饭吗。
Robin: Oh, I can’t. I’m going to Orlando for a week on Friday. Some guy’s attempting to make the world’s biggest pancake. Guess who’s covering it?
哦，我去不了，我周五开始要去奥兰多一周。有个人要做世界上最大的薄煎饼。猜猜是谁报道这件事？
Ted: That’s going to take a week?
这件事需要一周吗？
Robin: Yeah, he’s going to eat it too, it’s another record.
是啊，他还要吃了它，这是另一个记录。
Robin’s Dumped Friend: Hey, what’s taking so long?
嘿，什么事这么久？
Ted: Uh, I know this is a long shot（long shot 成功几率小的尝试、风险大的赌注）, but how about tomorrow night?
我知道这么做风险很大，但你觉得明晚怎么样？
Robin: Yeah, What the hell. JERK! That was fun.
好啊，管他呢。混蛋！确实很好玩。
Barney: De–wait for it–nied! Denied（deny 拒绝）!
被拒–等一下–绝了，被拒绝了。
Ted: We’re going out tomorrow night.
我们约了明晚出去。
Barney: I thought we were playing Laser Tag（真人激光枪） tomorrow night.
我以为我们明晚要玩真人激光枪。
Ted: Yeah, I was never gonna go play Laser Tag.
是啊，我永远不会去玩真人激光枪的。
Scene Six
(Bistro)
Narrator: The next night, I took her out to this little bistro（bistro 小酒馆） in Brooklyn.
第二天晚上，我带她去了布鲁克林的一家小酒馆。
Robin: Wow that is one badass（badass 令人赞叹的、惹是生非的） blue French horn（horn号，法国号=圆号）.
哇喔，那个蓝色的圆号真是太抢眼了。
Ted: Yeah.
Robin: Mhmm.
Ted: Sort of（sort of 有点、稍稍，sort 种类分类） looks a…Smurf（smurf 蓝精灵） penis.
看着有点像蓝精灵的小弟弟。
Narrator: Son, a piece of advice. When you go on a first date you really don’t wanna say ”smurf penis”. Girls don’t ordinarily like that.
儿子，给你个建议，当你和女孩初次约会时你绝对不能提蓝精灵的小弟弟。一般女孩子不喜欢这句话。
Narrator: But this was no ordinary girl.
但这个绝不是一般的女孩。
Marshall: Lily?
Lily: How long have you been sitting there!? Stupid eye patch（patch 眼罩）.
你在这坐了多久了，白痴眼罩。
Ted: Mom, dad, I have found the future Mrs. Ted Mosby! Marshall, how have I always described my perfect woman?
妈妈，爸爸，我找到了未来的泰德·莫斯比夫人。马修，我一直怎么形容我的梦中情人的？
Marshall: Oh let’s see…she likes dogs?
我想想，她喜欢狗吗？
Robin: I’ve got five dogs.
我有五条狗。
Marshall: She drinks Scotch（scotch 苏格兰威士忌）?
她喝苏格兰威士忌吗？
Robin: I love a scotch that’s old enough to order its own scotch.
我爱苏格兰威士忌，越陈越好。
Marshall: Can quote（quote 引用） obscure（obscure鲜为人知的） lines（line 台词、歌词） from ”Ghostbusters”?
能引用捉鬼敢死队的台词吗？
Robin: Ray, when someone asks you if you’re a god you say ”Yes!”
雷，当有人问你是不是上帝，你就回答是。
Ted: And I’m saving the best for last.
而且我把重头戏留在了后头。
Robin: Do you want these? I hate olives.
你想吃这些吗，我讨厌橄榄。
Marshall: She hate olives! Awesome!
她讨厌橄榄，太棒了。
Lily: The Olive Theory.
橄榄理论。
Ted: The Olive Theory is based on my friends, Marshall and Lily. He hates olives, she loves them. In a weird way that’s what makes them such a great couple. A perfect balance.
橄榄理论是我的朋友马修和莉莉提出的，他讨厌橄榄，她喜欢橄榄，说来也怪，这件事让他们成为一对如此般配的情侣。完美的平衡。
Robin: You Know, I’ve had a jar（jar 罐子） of olives just sitting in my fridge forever.
你知道，我有一罐橄榄在我的冰箱里放很久了。
Ted: I can take them off your hands.
我可以接手。
Robin: They’re all yours.
它们全归你了。
Marshall: Oh, it is on! It is on till the break of dawn.
哦，好戏开场。这激情势不可挡啊，
Lily: But, wait, it’s only the break of ten-thirty. What happend?
可是才十点半呢，你怎么回来这么早？
Robin: I’ve gotta get one of those blue French horns for over my fireplace（fireplace 壁炉）. It’s gotta be blue, it’s gotta be French.
我也要弄个那样蓝色的法国圆号挂在壁炉上，一定得是蓝的，还得是法式的。
Ted: No Green Clarinet（clarinet 单簧管、竖笛）?
不要绿色的单簧管？
Robin: Nope.
不要。
Ted: Come on, no purple tuba（tuba 大号）?
不是吧，紫色的大号也不要？
Robin: It’s a Smurf penis or no dice（no dice 不行、没门儿，dice骰子）.
非蓝精灵的小弟弟不要。
Producer: There you are! We’ve got a jumper! Some crazy guy on the Manhattan Bridge. Come on, you’re covering it!
可找到你了，有个疯子在曼哈顿大桥上要跳河，快点吧，你得去报道。
Robin: Um, alright. I’ll be right there. I’m sorry. I had a really great time tonight.
好，我马上来。不好意思，今晚我真的很开心。
Ted: Yeah.
那就好。
Marshall: So? Did you kiss her?
那你吻她了吗？
Ted: No. The moment wasn’t right. Look, this woman could be my future wife. I want our first kiss to be amazing.
没，时机不对啊，她说不定就是我未来的老婆，我希望我们有最棒的初吻。
Lily: Aww, Ted that’s so sweet. So you chickened out（chicken 小鸡、胆小的，chicken out 临阵脱逃） like the little bitch.
哦，泰德，你太体贴了，所以你像个小娘们一样退缩了。
Ted: What? I did no chicken out! You know what? I don’t need to take first kiss advice from some pirate who hasn’t been single since the first week of college.
才怪，我才没退缩，我才不要从一个完全没有大学单身经历的海盗那儿听取初吻建议。
Lily: Ted, anyone who’s single would tell you the same thing. Even the dumbest single person alive, and if you don’t believe me…call him.
泰德，就连单身的也会同意我的说法，哪怕他是世界上最傻冒的单身汉，不信你打电话问他。
Barney: Hey loser, how’s not playing Laser Tag? Because playing Laser Tag is awesome! Oh, I killed you Conner, don’t make me get your mom.
嘿，窝囊废，不来玩真人激光枪后悔了吧？因为真人激光枪爽爆了！你死了，康纳，别让我跟你妈告状。
Ted: Hey, listen. I need your opinion on something.
听我说，有件事想向你征求意见。
Barney: Okay, meet me at the bar in fifteen minutes–AND SUIT UP!
好，15分钟后酒吧见，穿上西装。
Ted: So these guys think I chickened out. What do you think?
所以，这俩人说我退缩了，你怎么看？
Barney: I can’t believe you’re still not wearing a suit!
真不敢相信你还是没穿西装。
Ted: She didn’t even give me the signal.
她甚至没给我暗示让我吻她。
Barney: What, is she gonna bat（bat 尤指轻浮调情地眨眼，bat your eyes 眉目传情、挤眉弄眼）her eyes at you in Morse code?? Ted kiss me–No, you just kiss her!
什么，难道她还要用眼睛眨出一段摩斯码说“泰德，吻我。”–别了，你直接吻她呀。
Ted: Not if you don’t get the signal.
没暗示怎么吻。
Barney: Ee–Did Marshall give me the signal?
马修给我暗示了吗？
Marshall: No! I didn’t, I swear.
没有，我真没有，我发誓。
Barney: But, see, at least tonight, I get to sleep knowing Marshall and me never going to happen. You should’ve kiss her.
不过，你看，至少今晚，我能安然入睡，因为我知道马修和我绝不会有进展。你该吻她的。
Ted: Urgh, I should’ve kisseed her. Well, maybe in a week when she gets back from Orlando.
我是该吻她的。等她一周后从奥兰多回来就吻。
Barney: A week? That’s like a year in hot-girl time. She’ll forget all about you. Mark my words: you will never see that one again.
一周？这对于抢手的女人来说有一年那么长。她早把你抛到九霄云外了。等着瞧，你不会再见到她了。
Ted: There she is.
那就是她。
Lily: Ooo. She’s cute! Hey Carl, turn it up!
她挺漂亮啊，嘿，卡尔，把声音开大点。
Robin: …persuaded（persuade 说服、劝告） him to reconsider, at which point the man came down off the ledge（ledge 壁架、崖边突出落脚处）, giving this bizarre story（bizarre 怪诞的、古怪的） a happy ending. Reporting from Metro 1 News, back to you, Bill.
劝他三思，就在那个男人要从桥栏跳下去的时候，让这出闹剧有了个圆满的结局。都市新闻一台报道，交给你了，比尔。
Marshall: Huh, guy didn’t jump.
那人没跳下去。
Ted: I’m gonna go kiss her. Right now.
我要去吻她。就现在。
Marshall: Look dude, it’s midnight. As your future lawyer I’m gonna advise you: that’s freakin’（freaking 非常、十分、该死的） crazy!
听着兄弟，现在是半夜，作为你未来的律师，我要告诉你这太疯狂了。
Ted: I never do anything crazy! I’m aways waiting for the moment! Planning the moment! Well she’s leaving tomorrow this may be the only moment I’m gonna get! I gotta（got to=have to 必须） do what that guy couldn’t, I gotta take the leap（leap 跳跃）! Okay not a perfect metaphor（metaphor 隐喻）, cause for me it’s fall in love and get married and for him it’s…death.
我从没做过什么疯狂事，我总在等待时机，计划时机，可是，她明天就要走了，这可能是我能有的唯一机会。我要做那跳河的人没做的，我要实现人生的飞跃。好吧，不是个最好的比喻，因为对我来说是坠入爱河然后结婚，对他来说就是死了。
Barney: Actually, that is a perfect metaphor. By the way, did I congratulate you two?
其实，这是个完美地比喻。对了，我祝贺你俩了吗。
Ted: I’m doing this.
说干就干。
Lily: let’s go.
我们走。
Marshall: Word up!
我同意。
Lily: We’re coming with you.
我们和你一起去。
Ted: …Barney?
Barney: Alright, but under one condition.
好吧，但我有个条件。
Barney: Look at you, you beautiful bastard, you suited up! This is totally going in my blog!
瞧瞧你，帅气的小坏蛋，你终于穿上西装了。这绝对值得载入我的博客啊。
Ted: Stop the car. Uh–pull over right here. I gotta do something.
停车，在这儿靠边。我有点事要做。
Ted: Excuse me, pardon（pardon 原谅、宽恕） me, just a sec. Enjoy your coffee.
打扰一下，不好意思，就一下。请享用您的咖啡。
Waiter: Hey, HEY!
Ted: Go, go, go! Everybody brings flowers.
走走走，谁不带花儿啊。
Scene Seven
(Taxicab)
Ted: Okay. Moment of truth. Wish me luck.
好了，关键时刻。祝我好运吧。
Barney: Ted’s gonna get it on with a TV reporter. ‘This just in’. Okay.
泰德要和一个电视台记者搞上了。下面“插”播一条，哦耶。
Lily: Kiss her, Ted. Kiss her good.
吻她，泰德，好好的吻她。
Marshall: Kiss the crap（crap 废话、废物、屎） out of that girl.
吻得她欲罢不能。
Ted: Marshall, remember this night. When you’re the best man at our wedding and you give a speech, you’re gonna tell this story.
马修，记住这个晚上，你在我们的婚礼上做伴郎演讲的时候，一定要讲这个故事。
Barney: Why does he get to be the best man? I’m your best friend!
为什么他是伴郎，我才是你最好的朋友。
Narrator: As I walked up to that door, a million thoughts raced（race 快速运转、竞赛、种族） my mind. Unfortunately, one particular thought did not.
当我走进那扇门时，我百感交集，不幸的是，我没有想到一种情况。
Robin: I’ve got five dogs.
我有五条狗。
Ted: Not good, not good.
不好，不好。
Lily: No!
Marshall: Go back in there!
回去。
Barney: You’re wearing a suit!
你穿着西装呢。
Robin: Ted?
Ted: Hi! I was just uh–(hold up Smurf Penis, aka（aka=also known as 又名、亦称） French Horn)
我刚才···
Robin: Come on up.
上来吧。
Marshall: He’s in.
他进去了。
Barney: So, Ranjit…you must’ve done it with a Lebanese girl?
兰吉特，你一定跟黎巴嫩妞儿玩过。
Lily: Okay, that’s my Barney Limit. I’m gonna see if that bodega（bodega 酒店） has a bathroom.
好了，我受不了巴尼了。我要去看看那个酒店里有没有洗手间。
Ranjit: Actually, I’m from Bangladesh.
其实我来自孟加拉国。
Barney: The woman hot there?
那里的女人漂亮吗？
Ranjit: Here’s a picture of my wife!
这是我老婆的照片。
Barney: Simple ‘no’ would have sufficed（suffice 足够）. She’s lovely.
怎一个惨字了得。她很可爱。
Robin: So Ted. What brings you back to Brooklyn at one in the moring in a suit.
那么，泰德，什么风把西装革履的你在凌晨一点吹回到布鲁克林了？
Ted: I was just hoping to get those olives…that you said I could have.
我只是想来拿橄榄，你说了要给我的。
Robin: Would you like those with some Gin（gin 杜松子酒） and Vermouth（vermouth苦艾酒）?
那你要加了杜松子酒和苦艾酒的橄榄吗？
Ted: Are you trying to get me drunk?
你是打算把我灌醉吗？
Robin: For starters.
好戏在后头。
Ted: Thank you.
Barney: So, Marshall. This ”Olive Theory” based on you and Lily?
马修，基于你和莉莉的橄榄理论。
Marshall: Yeah.
Barney: You hate olives, Lily loves them, you can’t stand them.
你讨厌橄榄，莉莉喜欢，但你受不了。
Marshall: Yeah, I hate olives.
对，我讨厌橄榄。
Barney: Two weeks ago, Spanish bar on 79th Street, dish of olives.You had some,What up?
两周前，79号街，西班牙酒吧，一碟橄榄，你吃了不少吧，怎么回事？
Marshall: You have to swear that this dose not leave this cab.
你必须发誓不能说出去。
Barney: I swear.
我发誓。
Ranjit: I swear.
Marshall: On our first date, I ordered a Greek salad, Lily asked if she could have my olives. I said:’Sure…I hate olives.’
我们初次约会时，我点了一份希腊沙拉。莉莉问我她能不能吃我的橄榄，我说，当然，我讨厌橄榄。
Barney: But you like olives!
但是你喜欢橄榄。
Marshall: Well, I was eighteen, okay? I was a virgin. Been waiting for my whole life for a pretty girl to want my olives.
我当时只有十八岁好吗？还是个处男。一直都在等一个愿意要我橄榄的漂亮女孩。
Barney: Marshall, L’m going to get you an early wedding present. Don’t get married.
马修，我要给你一样婚前礼物，不要结婚。
Robin: I think I like your ”Olive Theory”
我觉得我喜欢你的橄榄理论。
Ted: I think I like your new French Horn.
我觉得我喜欢你的法国号。
Robin: I think I like your nose.
我觉得我喜欢你的鼻子。
Ted: I think I’m in love with you.
我觉得我爱上你了。
Lily, Marshall and Barney: What?
Son and Daughter: What?
Robin: What?
Barney: Come on man, you said your stomach’s hurting, right? You know what that is? Hunger. You’re hungry for experience. Hungry for something new. Hungry for olives. But you are too scared to do anything about it.
拜托，哥们，你说你胃疼对吧？知道为什么吗，你饿了，你如饥似渴地寻求经历。你想要全新的体验，你饿了，特别想吃橄榄。但你太害怕，不愿意付诸行动。
Marshall: Yeah, I’m scared, okay? But when I think about spending the rest of my life with Lily…committing（commit 承诺、犯错） forever, no other women, does’t scared me at all. I’m marrying that girl. Lily, Lily, I like olives.
是的，我害怕，好了吧？但当我想到要和莉莉白头偕老，许下一辈子，放弃其他所有女人，我就一点也不觉得害怕，我一定要把她娶回家。莉莉，莉莉，我喜欢吃橄榄。
Lily: We’ll make it work.
我们会解决这个问题的。
Ranjit: Aww.
Ted: So Orlando,you gonna hit Disney World?
说起奥兰多，你是要去迪士尼吗？
Robin: You love me?
你爱我？
Ted: Oh, god, I can’t believe I said that. Why did I say that? Who says that? I should just go.
我的天啊，我居然说了这种话，我为什么要这么说呢？到底是谁说的？我还是走吧。
Robin: Hold on. Wait a minute. Promised you these.
等等，等我一下，我答应过要给你的。
Ted: Olives.
Robin: Yeah.
Ted: Thanks. I love you. What’s wrong with me?
谢谢，我爱你。我到底怎么了？
Barney: Why are we still sitting here? Let’s go! We can still make last call. What do you say Lily? Yo, ho, ho, and a bottle of rum? Cause you’re a pirate？
我们干嘛还等在这儿？走吧，还可以去酒吧喝最后一轮，你觉得怎么样，莉莉。呦呵呵，来瓶朗姆酒。你不是海盗吗？
Lily: Okay, eye patch gone.And we can’t just abandon Ted. If it doesn’t go well up there, he’s gonna need some support.
好吧，我不要眼罩了。我们总不能把泰德丢下吧。如果他不顺利的话，会需要我们的支持。
Marshall: It’s been like twenty minutes. You think they’re doin’ it?
都已经过了大概20分钟了，你觉得他们干上没？
Barney: You think they’re doing it in front of the dogs?
你觉得他们会在狗狗面前干吗？
Marshall: Doggie style.
犬式。
Barney: I had this girl in college, she had a golden retriever（retriever 寻回犬）…
我上大学的时候认识一个女孩，她有一条金毛猎犬···
Lily: Okay, we can go to the bar, just stop talking.
好吧，我们回酒吧去，别继续这个话题就好。
Barney: Hit it Ranjit.
走吧，兰吉特。
Ted: So when you tell this story to your friends, could you avoid the word ‘psycho’?（psycho 精神病人） I’d perfer…’eccentric’（eccentric 古怪的）.
你和朋友们讲起我的时候，能不能别用“神经病”来形容？用“有点怪”比较好。
Robin: Good night, psycho.
晚安，神经病。
Ted: Great. Umm…how do I get to the F Train?
好吧，到F线地铁站怎么走？
Robin: Oh, two blocks（block 街道、建筑、固体、阻塞） that way and take a right.
朝那边走两个街区然后右拐。
Ted: Thanks.You know What? I’m done being single. I’m not good at it. Look, obviously, you can’t tell a woman you just met you love her. But…it sucks that you can’t. I’ll tell you something, though, if a woman–not you, just some hypothetical（hypothetica 假设的） woman–were to bear（bear 忍受、熊） with me through all this. I think I’d make a damn good husband. Because that’s the stuff I’d be good at. Stuff like making her laugh and being a good father…and walking her five hypothetical dogs. Being a good kisser.
谢谢，你知道吗？我厌倦单身生活了，我不擅长单身。你看，我显然不应该告诉一个刚认识的女人我爱她，但我心有不甘。你听我说，如果一个女人，不是说你，就是一个假想中的女人，可以忍受我这些乱七八糟的事，我想我可以成为她的好丈夫。因为我善于做这种事。比如逗她笑，当一个好爸爸···还有帮她遛五条假象中的狗。做一个接吻高手。
Robin: Everyone thinks they’re a good kisser.
每个人都觉得自己是接吻高手。
Ted: Oh, I’ve got references（reference 查阅、参考、涉及）.
这可不是我自封的。
Robin: Goodnight, Ted.
晚安，泰德。
Ted: And I’m a good handshaker.
我还是个握手高手。
Robin: That’s a pretty great handshake.
你确实握的不错。
Ted: And that was it. I’ll probably never see her again. What?
就这样了，我恐怕不会和她再见了。怎么了？
Marshall: That was the signal!
那是个暗示。
Lily: That long, lingering（linger 流连、徘徊、继续存留、缓慢消失） handshake, you should’ve kiss her!
你们那个意味深长的握手，你应该吻她的。
Barney: There’s no such thing as the signal. But yeah, that was the signal.
根本没有暗示这一说。不过，没错，那就是个暗示。
Ranjit: Signal.
暗示哦。
Marshall: Ah, Carl, thank you. There’s something I gotta do.
卡尔，谢谢。下面我要做一件事。
Carl: By the way, you should’ve kissed her.
顺便说一句，你应该吻她的。
Ted: Carl, You guys weren’t there.
卡尔，你们都没在场。
Lily: I am so turned on right now.
我现在“性”致盎然啊。
Ted: Guys, trust me. I’ve seen the signal. That was not the signal.
同志们，相信我，我见过暗示，那绝对不是暗示。
Barney: Yeah Ted, we’re not on you anymore.
泰德，关于你的话题结束了。
Marshall: To my fiance!
敬我的未婚妻！
Lily: To the future!
敬未来！
Ranjit: To one hell of a night!
敬这个神奇的夜晚！
Ted: That was not the signal!
那才不是暗示。
Narrator: I asked her about it years later, and yeah, that was the signal. I could’ve kissed her. But that’s the funny thing about destiny. It happens whether you plan it or not. I mean I never thought I’d see that girl again. But it turns out. I was too close to the puzzle to see the picture that was forming. Because that, kids, is the true story, of how I met your Aunt Robin.
几年以后我问过她，她说是的，那就是个暗示。我本应该吻她的。但这就是命运的有趣之处。不管你刻意还是随意，该发生的总会发生。我是说，我以为我再也见不到那个女孩了。结果是，我不识庐山真面目，只缘身在此山中。因为，孩子们，这就是我怎样遇见你们罗宾阿姨的故事。
Son: Aunt Robin?
罗宾阿姨？
Daaughter: I thought this was how you met mom!
我以为你在说你是怎么遇见老妈的呢。
Narrator: Will you relax? I’m getting to it. Like I said: It’s a long story…
放松点行吗，我会讲到的，我之前说过，这是个很长的故事。